That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
