This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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