I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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