I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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