My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize