I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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