forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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