And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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