sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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