I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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