Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize