I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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