I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize