I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
