Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize