I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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