I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
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The air was thick with penises
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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