I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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