It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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