Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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