Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize