Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
