Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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