mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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