I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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