What a fucking waste of an outfit
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
