So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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