somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm jealous of your bromance
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
only if we run a train.
done.
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Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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