Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam