ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

  Fav 3 1627 825

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

  Fav 1 986 1352

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

  Fav 26 4719 1014

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

  Fav 28 1539 3994

  share tweet
  
• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln

  Fav 3 3809 1612

  share tweet
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

  Fav 12 1007 5280

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vagina supports interfraternal relations

  Fav 9 1835 965

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

  Fav 15 2414 1523

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  You can't just leave with hair like that

  Fav 2 725 608

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

  Fav 1 1206 513

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas

  Fav 6 862 549

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome

  Fav 3 552 467

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs

  Fav 1 327 181

  share tweet
  

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday

  Fav 1 48 60

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels

  Fav 1 109 20

  share tweet
  

Randomize