Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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