You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS