My room smells like vodka and shame
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You can't motorboat a personality
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize