You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
COCAINE IS GR8
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
