Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions