Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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