We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit