I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick