so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.