Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
