Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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