Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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