Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize