She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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