mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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