Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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