farters have to be the big spoon...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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