miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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