the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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