I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.