did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus