its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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