He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize