Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize