I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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