Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
